He is perfect in every way. He stays in my dream when i sleep holding my soul as his body embraces my warmth. He is possessive and overly protective. I'm everything to him. He cannot live without me. He cannot die without me. He cannot exist without me... because he is not real until I allow him to be. He is a character in my book.
My own creation. He knows what i need, when i need it. He gives me what I want, when i want it.
He reads my mind, touch my soul, and has my heart completely.
no man real or not can compare to him... except a being that is God.
my first true love is of my own imagination.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Happiness
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand page 928
"Happiness is the successful state of life, pain is an agent of death. Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. A morality that dares to tell you to find happiness in the renunciation of your happiness--to value the failure of your values--is an insolent negation of morality. A doctrine that give you, as an ideal, the role of a sacrificial animal seeking slaughter on the altars of others, is giving you death as your standard. By the grace of reality and the nature of life, man--every man--is an end in himself, he exists for his own sake, and the achievement of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose.
"But neither life nor happiness can be achieved by the pursuit of irrational whims. Just as man is free to attempt to survive in any random manner, but will perish unless he lives as his nnature requires, so he is free to seek his happiness in any mindless fraud, but the torture of frustration is all he will find, unless he seeks the happiness proper to man. The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live."
she wanted a tender lie
even when she says goodbye, she meant for me to wait for her.
"I think we should stop seeing each other for a while."
even when she decided to walk her own path... she still wants me to freeze my world for her. and she called it being kind... being nice. Pity. Or it is selfish? she's afraid to let go, but she's afraid to hang on. she couldn't make up her mind... why is that?
there are two forms of break up: one is permanent... and the other is a threat, an excuse... a form of trying to work things out where the other person lay down a list of what is wrong and solutions and ways to fix it. She didn't do either. she was afraid of the truth. she didn't want to ask. why? why did you change? she didn't want an answer from me, one that she already know. What happened to you? then... she blamed me for not trying to work things out. i wasn't the one breaking up! and i did ask... but she just wanted to leave... she wanted to leave her past. she was too afraid to look at herself. i had to drag it out of her. i had to force her to leave. i had to lie to her... after all... that was what she wanted.
"... for a while..." how long is a while? i don't love you anymore. you've changed too much. there is no hope left. you're not impossible but you're not possible with me. i have no hope left of ever just being your friend. i sacrificed too much for you already. i'm tired of being a giant tree that you leaned on for comfort... and for a shade. all i ever wanted was to be your friend... but i was never that was i? i have always been your tree....
i'm going now... and this... this is the last time i'll glance back.
you never loved me because i was a friend, you loved me because you needed me... you thought you needed me. and even when you wanted to let go... you still cling on. you wanted to be a part of my life because you thought you needed me always... just as i've always been a tree for shade and comfort. selfish... you don't know what that mean... but you know pity too well. what it is? are you addicted to me too? all my lies? because i'm willing to? because i know how to live... and you thought you don't? what it is?
why can't you say what you meant? why can't you let go? why do you cling? and if you cling... why didn't you stay? you left... you convinced yourself that i'm impossible.... it's true. you've made yourself impossible to me. i can never be your friend. and i don't want to be your hero. but i couldn't leave because i still hoped. but it's gone now.
i have to go. the tears seemed unworthy now. my heart is as cold as ice. you are just a name.
but i'll say it, i'll be your tree one last time... i'll leave you with a tender lie:
you chose to leave. you abandoned me. but I forgive you.... You left me standing there in the mist of total loneliness with a broken heart while you go about enjoying that forbidden part of life.... and i was so scared as i watched in disbelieve. and i wanted to turn away, i wanted to keep going down the road that used to carry your footprint next to mine... the road that you turned away. but my feet were frozen by feared and blamed. Where did i go wrong? how did you change so much before my very eyes? and i just didn't see? was i such a bad friend? i turned to take one last glance at the road that lead me to my ambitions... what used to be our path, and i knew i would be stuck. i watched as you slip further and further away from me following the roads blindfully toward the bottum. and all i could do was watch while the world around me froze. i waited for you to come back so that we would continue on down the road we were heading before you left me behind to walk with someone else. i watched you suffer; the tears and scars of what my heart would look like if you care to inspect.
but i knew you no longer walk my path... that you would never come back. but you were going where i couldn't follow while trying to pull me along.
you were so busy following someone else's footstep that you forgot me. you glance occassionally back to see my sad smiles, to see me still standing there waiting for you. i wanted to pull you back but you were so far away and i didn't know how to reach you. i had no idea how to save your life. and you kept going following one path to another as i stood there waiting for Godot. if true love means giving someone your world then i have done just that and when you left i froze it for you. i waited for your return knowing you never would.
and i'm waiting... even now when you walk your own path.
i took one step forward only to back up and glance the other way hoping for a glimpse of you. but you're gone... so very far away that i can no longer see. and i'm stuck here... waiting for you still....
but i know... i knew all along... you're gone.
and when i find the strenght to move on and gather the pieces on the ground i'll keep going, but i know that i'll always look back. i know that when i reach the end of that road i would wait still... for your return. and my only comfort now is that you walk your own path and not following someone else's.
and i'll always wait for you...
go on, wak your path, i won't follow you because i can't walk your path but i'm always waiting.
who knows? maybe the end of your road is where we meet... as far apart as we seemed to be, i'll never leave you.
i'll always wait for you so go ahead and run as far as you wish and be as much as you dreamt, don't look back... cuase no matter how far away you are, i'll know how to find you. i just hope that the next time you loose yourself completely that you can create your own path and not follow someone else's.
and i'll always love you no matter how much you change because my love is unconditional. and i'm so sorry i've hurt you... it's all my fault. i only hope that you'll forgive me.
"I think we should stop seeing each other for a while."
even when she decided to walk her own path... she still wants me to freeze my world for her. and she called it being kind... being nice. Pity. Or it is selfish? she's afraid to let go, but she's afraid to hang on. she couldn't make up her mind... why is that?
there are two forms of break up: one is permanent... and the other is a threat, an excuse... a form of trying to work things out where the other person lay down a list of what is wrong and solutions and ways to fix it. She didn't do either. she was afraid of the truth. she didn't want to ask. why? why did you change? she didn't want an answer from me, one that she already know. What happened to you? then... she blamed me for not trying to work things out. i wasn't the one breaking up! and i did ask... but she just wanted to leave... she wanted to leave her past. she was too afraid to look at herself. i had to drag it out of her. i had to force her to leave. i had to lie to her... after all... that was what she wanted.
"... for a while..." how long is a while? i don't love you anymore. you've changed too much. there is no hope left. you're not impossible but you're not possible with me. i have no hope left of ever just being your friend. i sacrificed too much for you already. i'm tired of being a giant tree that you leaned on for comfort... and for a shade. all i ever wanted was to be your friend... but i was never that was i? i have always been your tree....
i'm going now... and this... this is the last time i'll glance back.
you never loved me because i was a friend, you loved me because you needed me... you thought you needed me. and even when you wanted to let go... you still cling on. you wanted to be a part of my life because you thought you needed me always... just as i've always been a tree for shade and comfort. selfish... you don't know what that mean... but you know pity too well. what it is? are you addicted to me too? all my lies? because i'm willing to? because i know how to live... and you thought you don't? what it is?
why can't you say what you meant? why can't you let go? why do you cling? and if you cling... why didn't you stay? you left... you convinced yourself that i'm impossible.... it's true. you've made yourself impossible to me. i can never be your friend. and i don't want to be your hero. but i couldn't leave because i still hoped. but it's gone now.
i have to go. the tears seemed unworthy now. my heart is as cold as ice. you are just a name.
but i'll say it, i'll be your tree one last time... i'll leave you with a tender lie:
you chose to leave. you abandoned me. but I forgive you.... You left me standing there in the mist of total loneliness with a broken heart while you go about enjoying that forbidden part of life.... and i was so scared as i watched in disbelieve. and i wanted to turn away, i wanted to keep going down the road that used to carry your footprint next to mine... the road that you turned away. but my feet were frozen by feared and blamed. Where did i go wrong? how did you change so much before my very eyes? and i just didn't see? was i such a bad friend? i turned to take one last glance at the road that lead me to my ambitions... what used to be our path, and i knew i would be stuck. i watched as you slip further and further away from me following the roads blindfully toward the bottum. and all i could do was watch while the world around me froze. i waited for you to come back so that we would continue on down the road we were heading before you left me behind to walk with someone else. i watched you suffer; the tears and scars of what my heart would look like if you care to inspect.
but i knew you no longer walk my path... that you would never come back. but you were going where i couldn't follow while trying to pull me along.
you were so busy following someone else's footstep that you forgot me. you glance occassionally back to see my sad smiles, to see me still standing there waiting for you. i wanted to pull you back but you were so far away and i didn't know how to reach you. i had no idea how to save your life. and you kept going following one path to another as i stood there waiting for Godot. if true love means giving someone your world then i have done just that and when you left i froze it for you. i waited for your return knowing you never would.
and i'm waiting... even now when you walk your own path.
i took one step forward only to back up and glance the other way hoping for a glimpse of you. but you're gone... so very far away that i can no longer see. and i'm stuck here... waiting for you still....
but i know... i knew all along... you're gone.
and when i find the strenght to move on and gather the pieces on the ground i'll keep going, but i know that i'll always look back. i know that when i reach the end of that road i would wait still... for your return. and my only comfort now is that you walk your own path and not following someone else's.
and i'll always wait for you...
go on, wak your path, i won't follow you because i can't walk your path but i'm always waiting.
who knows? maybe the end of your road is where we meet... as far apart as we seemed to be, i'll never leave you.
i'll always wait for you so go ahead and run as far as you wish and be as much as you dreamt, don't look back... cuase no matter how far away you are, i'll know how to find you. i just hope that the next time you loose yourself completely that you can create your own path and not follow someone else's.
and i'll always love you no matter how much you change because my love is unconditional. and i'm so sorry i've hurt you... it's all my fault. i only hope that you'll forgive me.
tranquilizer for abstract feelings
as advance as we are... why is it that we haven't find a tranquilizer for abstract feelings?
i could use some just about now.
it would be nice to just not feel... betray, heart breaking, sorrow, on the verge of breaking into tears... that sort of things.
sure, we have tranquilizer that paralyzes the body... but that is the worst of it... because when you can't move, you think... you remember... and then you feel.
when you can't feel your hands or feet... you feel all the abstract feelings.
it makes me wonder sometime if they exist; these so called abstract feelings.
i can't see them... and they only exist to the extend that "i" feel them. does that mean i can choose to just not feel them? maybe it's all in my imagination. maybe it's true... they don't exist... we just imagine them to.
i wonder if it's some sort of conspiracy that some great philosopher thought of to define existence. when you are physically paralyze you can't feel anything... so you only have but your mind... and there is where all fantacy lies. so these so called abstract feelings; are they from the dept of my imagination... conjured up to remind me as a form of confort that i exist? so comes happiness, sorrows, and the many wonders of "life". then my mind decieves me. or perhaps it was religion that gave names to abstract feelings to further their theory on the existence of a 'soul'.
then every language gives it a name... because you know... human are good at naming things.
then we called them abstract because we can't feel it with any of our senses. or can we?
it really makes me wonder...
if our mind can block out real physical pain... and it can decieve us to believe whatever it wants us to... then of course it's capible of such things as imagined feelings.
have you ever been pinched? and that person held onto the pinch? at first you will feel massive amount of pain... but after a while... well... you no longer feel it.
that is your mind's way to protect you from you as to preserve itself. but once that person let go... you'll see it... a hole or purplest bruise. that is the evidence of that pain you didn't feel after a while.
i wonder sometimes if your mind is also capible of making you believe you feel things you cannot see... as a form of perversing itself from the person that is you.
who knows right? but i have a feeling if we ever do... we'll find a tranquilizer for abstract feelings soon afterward... because you know... we as a human race are good at condtrolling what we know and finding out what we don't.
i could use some just about now.
it would be nice to just not feel... betray, heart breaking, sorrow, on the verge of breaking into tears... that sort of things.
sure, we have tranquilizer that paralyzes the body... but that is the worst of it... because when you can't move, you think... you remember... and then you feel.
when you can't feel your hands or feet... you feel all the abstract feelings.
it makes me wonder sometime if they exist; these so called abstract feelings.
i can't see them... and they only exist to the extend that "i" feel them. does that mean i can choose to just not feel them? maybe it's all in my imagination. maybe it's true... they don't exist... we just imagine them to.
i wonder if it's some sort of conspiracy that some great philosopher thought of to define existence. when you are physically paralyze you can't feel anything... so you only have but your mind... and there is where all fantacy lies. so these so called abstract feelings; are they from the dept of my imagination... conjured up to remind me as a form of confort that i exist? so comes happiness, sorrows, and the many wonders of "life". then my mind decieves me. or perhaps it was religion that gave names to abstract feelings to further their theory on the existence of a 'soul'.
then every language gives it a name... because you know... human are good at naming things.
then we called them abstract because we can't feel it with any of our senses. or can we?
it really makes me wonder...
if our mind can block out real physical pain... and it can decieve us to believe whatever it wants us to... then of course it's capible of such things as imagined feelings.
have you ever been pinched? and that person held onto the pinch? at first you will feel massive amount of pain... but after a while... well... you no longer feel it.
that is your mind's way to protect you from you as to preserve itself. but once that person let go... you'll see it... a hole or purplest bruise. that is the evidence of that pain you didn't feel after a while.
i wonder sometimes if your mind is also capible of making you believe you feel things you cannot see... as a form of perversing itself from the person that is you.
who knows right? but i have a feeling if we ever do... we'll find a tranquilizer for abstract feelings soon afterward... because you know... we as a human race are good at condtrolling what we know and finding out what we don't.
delayed feelings
I dropped him the minute he made me lower my standards. i stopped the moment he refused to choose between us two... he didn't make a choice and that is worse than chosing the wrong side.
but she... she broke my heart. she might as well take a knife and slide my heart into pieces. she chose. i had to do something i never thought i would... i had to lower my standards for her. she became the burden the minute she chose to be addicted to everything that we resented.
all i could feel were resentments... and i didn't even know that it showed.
i couldn't leave her. i couldn't drop her. how could i? her childhood friend left... and her parents... they were battling their own demons. she has no one. or perhaps i thought i had no one if i let her go. but i already lost her. i just refused to believe it.
so instead of the norm... the tears of heart broken, the sorrow, the deep regrets, and the whatever else goes with it of that supposed breakup.
i put on a brave face, i smiled and told her she would raise.
i couldn't leave her when she was at her worst.... i couldn't do what the other people had the option to do.
i might never know what being addicted to drug or alcohol is like but i know too well its effect. sometimes i hate myself for such a love of books and reading.
she had depression issues before... it would only make it worse and i knew. i was so afraid. i was so scared. i didn't want to give up her life. she was so fragile... so hopeless and helpless... she was going to break at any moment.
i just couldn't. to give up on her is to give up on everything that i ever believe in. but to be with her meant that i had to loose myself. the self that had different sets of standard. to be with her is to admit defeat.
so i faked everything. and i thought i was such a good liar as she has said... but oh, it's so hard... and it gets harder by each and every minutes we spend together. the resentments vent through words of horrifying meaness.
and now... it all rashed back to me... it hurts so much.
the heartbreak... the regrets... the tears that i never shed and dried up inside.
"What did i do wrong? Did she not love me enough... us... to stay away from it? Does she not know... what it would do to her body... to her life? Oh... but she does! So why! why!!! Why did she do it? Why couldn't she walk away? I failed her... I wished i could have been there to stop her... to make sure... but would it have made a different? it was never my choice... it was hers... and she chose!!! She chose!!! I hate it! Oh, i hate it so much! i can't loose her to it! i just can't! but it hurts... it hurts so much... to know that i already lost. She made her choice... she left me. She left us. She chose it. What am I to do? If i leave... what would happen? If I stay... am i brave enough? Oh... no... i can't leave now. not when she needs me. i can't judge. i can't hate... i can only support her courage. only she can dig herself out of this... and i'm going to make sure of it! because... i don't want to loose a life! because i don't want to sacrifice hers for my standard! oh, damned it all! i have to smile! i have to be brave! because one of us has to! what else is there to loose? our friendship was already lost! God damned it! it was the sacrifice! she chose it over me! She left! i'll never forgive her for this! but i can only leave once she can walk on her own! i can only leave when she dismisses me! when she no longer needs me... that way... it's not a complete lost.... And this feelings... they'll have to be suppressed...."
that was two years ago.
She said i changed... I did. I changed when she lost herself. In order to prolong what was lost to save what could be saved, i wore a mask and play a role that i never thought i had to. She said i became a bitch who called her names and made her feel like shit... it's true. but it will remind her, forever a scar, that she should never let anyone (not even her own best friend) treat her like shit.... and i hoped to God... she'll never let another guy lay hands on her again. there are three forms of abuse: physical, mentally, and emotionally. The first is nothing compare to the other two. how it pains me... she'll never know. I knew she was going to leave... hell! she already left. So i did what i could to make sure she has the strength, the courage, and herself. i wanted her to leave on her terms not due to her self destructions motives. i didn't want her to give up on herself... even if it means i have to abuse her mentally and emotionally!
two years... my plan worked. i did things i would never do again. i did things i would otherwise never do if it wasn't for a purpose that i thougth worthy enough to sacrifice my own standards. i guessed... i won... i won her back. that made me so happy... but the regrets will never go away. the pain of the burden i had to carry will never leave me. i miss her... i'm not sure what is worse: missing her as we share a laugh when she is sitting right there next to me (wondering if she's going to do drugs today when she dropped me off)... or missing her as she is miles away (studying for her test to become as she has declared--the greatest writer anyone ever seen). to know... to know so much... to care so much... to love as i did... it's tiring and painful. it's such a burden. it leaves me never wanting to love again. i'm at the end of my rope... and i'm so glad she let go... i'm so glad she is her best as she walks away. it seems time didn't age her at all, it seems as if nothing ever happened... and none of it matters anyway... she was herself... she was the girl i fell in love with.
but now... i have no reason left to delay what i felt. damned by loneliness. pained by my own memories of my treacherous plan. exhausted by the whole thing... i need to cry... but i don't know how to find the tears. it seems the bravery mask hasn't been taken off. now i have to go find myself. the things i used to believe in, the standards i had, the innocence intoxication of overwhelming love for life and what i was... before i had to forsaken it.
i'm free. if only i can take off the mask. if only i can stop caring... worrying after her... if only i have a distraction. i wonder how long these thing goes away... maybe i need another mask... to suppress this one.
but she... she broke my heart. she might as well take a knife and slide my heart into pieces. she chose. i had to do something i never thought i would... i had to lower my standards for her. she became the burden the minute she chose to be addicted to everything that we resented.
all i could feel were resentments... and i didn't even know that it showed.
i couldn't leave her. i couldn't drop her. how could i? her childhood friend left... and her parents... they were battling their own demons. she has no one. or perhaps i thought i had no one if i let her go. but i already lost her. i just refused to believe it.
so instead of the norm... the tears of heart broken, the sorrow, the deep regrets, and the whatever else goes with it of that supposed breakup.
i put on a brave face, i smiled and told her she would raise.
i couldn't leave her when she was at her worst.... i couldn't do what the other people had the option to do.
i might never know what being addicted to drug or alcohol is like but i know too well its effect. sometimes i hate myself for such a love of books and reading.
she had depression issues before... it would only make it worse and i knew. i was so afraid. i was so scared. i didn't want to give up her life. she was so fragile... so hopeless and helpless... she was going to break at any moment.
i just couldn't. to give up on her is to give up on everything that i ever believe in. but to be with her meant that i had to loose myself. the self that had different sets of standard. to be with her is to admit defeat.
so i faked everything. and i thought i was such a good liar as she has said... but oh, it's so hard... and it gets harder by each and every minutes we spend together. the resentments vent through words of horrifying meaness.
and now... it all rashed back to me... it hurts so much.
the heartbreak... the regrets... the tears that i never shed and dried up inside.
"What did i do wrong? Did she not love me enough... us... to stay away from it? Does she not know... what it would do to her body... to her life? Oh... but she does! So why! why!!! Why did she do it? Why couldn't she walk away? I failed her... I wished i could have been there to stop her... to make sure... but would it have made a different? it was never my choice... it was hers... and she chose!!! She chose!!! I hate it! Oh, i hate it so much! i can't loose her to it! i just can't! but it hurts... it hurts so much... to know that i already lost. She made her choice... she left me. She left us. She chose it. What am I to do? If i leave... what would happen? If I stay... am i brave enough? Oh... no... i can't leave now. not when she needs me. i can't judge. i can't hate... i can only support her courage. only she can dig herself out of this... and i'm going to make sure of it! because... i don't want to loose a life! because i don't want to sacrifice hers for my standard! oh, damned it all! i have to smile! i have to be brave! because one of us has to! what else is there to loose? our friendship was already lost! God damned it! it was the sacrifice! she chose it over me! She left! i'll never forgive her for this! but i can only leave once she can walk on her own! i can only leave when she dismisses me! when she no longer needs me... that way... it's not a complete lost.... And this feelings... they'll have to be suppressed...."
that was two years ago.
She said i changed... I did. I changed when she lost herself. In order to prolong what was lost to save what could be saved, i wore a mask and play a role that i never thought i had to. She said i became a bitch who called her names and made her feel like shit... it's true. but it will remind her, forever a scar, that she should never let anyone (not even her own best friend) treat her like shit.... and i hoped to God... she'll never let another guy lay hands on her again. there are three forms of abuse: physical, mentally, and emotionally. The first is nothing compare to the other two. how it pains me... she'll never know. I knew she was going to leave... hell! she already left. So i did what i could to make sure she has the strength, the courage, and herself. i wanted her to leave on her terms not due to her self destructions motives. i didn't want her to give up on herself... even if it means i have to abuse her mentally and emotionally!
two years... my plan worked. i did things i would never do again. i did things i would otherwise never do if it wasn't for a purpose that i thougth worthy enough to sacrifice my own standards. i guessed... i won... i won her back. that made me so happy... but the regrets will never go away. the pain of the burden i had to carry will never leave me. i miss her... i'm not sure what is worse: missing her as we share a laugh when she is sitting right there next to me (wondering if she's going to do drugs today when she dropped me off)... or missing her as she is miles away (studying for her test to become as she has declared--the greatest writer anyone ever seen). to know... to know so much... to care so much... to love as i did... it's tiring and painful. it's such a burden. it leaves me never wanting to love again. i'm at the end of my rope... and i'm so glad she let go... i'm so glad she is her best as she walks away. it seems time didn't age her at all, it seems as if nothing ever happened... and none of it matters anyway... she was herself... she was the girl i fell in love with.
but now... i have no reason left to delay what i felt. damned by loneliness. pained by my own memories of my treacherous plan. exhausted by the whole thing... i need to cry... but i don't know how to find the tears. it seems the bravery mask hasn't been taken off. now i have to go find myself. the things i used to believe in, the standards i had, the innocence intoxication of overwhelming love for life and what i was... before i had to forsaken it.
i'm free. if only i can take off the mask. if only i can stop caring... worrying after her... if only i have a distraction. i wonder how long these thing goes away... maybe i need another mask... to suppress this one.
the differences between like, love, and in love
Like-the person has some of the qualities you value or admire
love-the person has most of the qualities you value and admire in a person
in-love-the person has all the qualities you value and admire in a person and to you he/she seems perfect.
lust-can be any of the three or the combinations of all
woman and sex
most women date and hold out on the sex thinking, "i'll wait and see how he treats me, if he respects me he'll wait... blah... blah... blah..."
every man wants sex. am i wrong? they are born with sex drive as a biological effect. it doesn't matter how long or in what situation, eventually, it leads to that... they want sex.
it's the woman that say yes not the man when it comes to sex.
so a guy will say or do anything to get sex right? generally speaking. so how is a girl suppose to know if his feelings is genuine or not? easy... have sex and see how he treats you afterward.
what makes the biggest different is not how long he waited to have sex with you, it's how he treats you after the sex.
because if you give men the one thing they want the most let's say, then they can't hide the true feelings behind stupid false promises and pretends to try to get what they want. then... you'll see them for who they are.
don't use sex as a weapon woman! use it as a tool to test his true nature.
what makes the different between a gentleman and a... anything else really... is how they "respect" or treat you afterward. are you a woman to him? or a whore? afterward.
he either use you for sex, once got what he wants then he stop the pretense.
look... why waste your time and his... there is really no way of truly knowing how he honestly feel until it happens.
consider it this way, the dates are the battles, the sex is the climax of the war, and the afterward determines the war. did you win your heart? or did he loose?
and in the end, in the society that we live in, relationship between men and woman sex has become vital... it has always been but nowaday... it's it.
he could be Mr. Perfect or she could be Miss Perfect... but what happens when the sex is horrible? would you stay? would you go?
the depth of how much you like or love someone is being measured here against something as important as sex in a relationship between a woman and a man.
honestly... i usually leave... and they always follow... but you either teach or you accept or you move on. it's so simply but very complicated because it requires a level of total acceptance of reality as it is... and understanding the nature of the opposite sex.
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